The Art of Care: Navigating the Balance Between Support and Pressure

candybarr72
Aug 5
3 min read

Updated: Oct 31

Understanding the Nature of Care

There’s a version of care that doesn’t feel like care on the receiving end. It might come through as pressure, over-explaining, or offering insight that wasn’t asked for. Even if the insight is accurate, it can miss the mark when delivered with urgency.

I remember about two years into working with one of my coaching clients. She was making real progress and expressed a desire to explore affirmations. I didn’t explode, but I did react. I told her it wasn’t the next right step. I believed affirmations were lies that could gaslight oneself—a way the ego redirects us when we’re making forward progress.

One thing that is well known in my practice is that our subconscious programming can't be persuaded to give up control. Affirmations sell this lie, and I was determined to keep her on the path she had been walking—without detours.

Reflecting on My Reaction

Within hours of that exchange, I realized that my fear of her stepping off the path was why I didn’t allow space for her curiosity. I couldn’t have a calm and rational discussion; instead, I barked orders at her. This reaction stemmed from my own fears, rooted in the countless times I had followed something shiny off the path, thinking it was the right direction.

I didn’t want her to lose ground as I had so many times before. I thought I was protecting the work. Part of me still believed that if I could name the pattern quickly enough, I could prevent it from happening.

That was more than a year ago. I’m not in that place anymore, but I remember it because it taught me something important.

The Lesson of Holding Too Tightly

It showed me what it feels like to hold too tightly. To try to preserve someone’s growth by steering it. To mean well and still miss the moment. Now, I check myself more often. Am I offering something, or enforcing something? Am I listening, or assuming I already know? Am I attuned, or just trying to outrun my own discomfort with what might happen next?

That moment didn’t ruin anything, but it rewired something in me. I saw how easy it is to confuse protection with presence, especially when you care deeply.

The True Meaning of Caring

This part of the work has taught me that caring doesn’t always mean guiding. Sometimes, it means waiting, watching, and trusting that insight will land when the person is ready to carry it.

If you’ve ever been on either side of this—pushing too hard or feeling pushed—you’re not alone. This is the kind of reflection we hold in coaching: not to judge the moment, but to see it more clearly.

Embracing the Journey of Healing

Healing is a journey that requires patience and understanding. It’s about recognizing the subtle shifts that occur within. Each step taken, whether forward or backward, is part of a larger process.

In my practice, I offer an integrated approach to care—rooted in acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine. This approach is informed by an understanding of how stress, pain, and emotional patterns affect the body. Every session begins with what’s most present, whether that’s physical discomfort or a deeper imbalance that needs attention.

Over time, this approach allows relief to hold, supporting both immediate symptoms and the roots beneath them.

The Importance of Trust in the Healing Process

Trust is essential in the healing process. It allows for openness and vulnerability. When clients feel safe, they can explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This creates a space for genuine growth and transformation.

I encourage clients to embrace their curiosity. It’s okay to explore different avenues of healing. Each person’s journey is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.